The Countdown Was On!

The wedding was just about a month away!!!! I couldn't believe that time had gone by so quickly!! Jack had his bachelor party. I opted out of a bachelorette party...even long before I was pregnant. I just didn't want one. I am not into the whole, "let's go out with your girlfriends with penis straws, veils, and a bunch of liquor" thing...just not my cup of tea.


Jack's party was thrown by one of his best buddies, Al. Al planned a total guys night out for Jack and his friends. He even hired a friend to be the designated driver! What a smart guy!! The night arrived...and low and behold: THERE WAS A SNOW STORM...really???? Why did this have to be the night...designated driver or not...this scared the crap out of me. It isn't like they were going to go bar hopping locally...they were going to strip clubs and casinos over in Sarnia...CANADA...grrrreat. I kept thinking all evening long that all the wives and girlfriends of the men that were out that night were going to kill me for them going out...Thank the Lord above, they made it back to Flint, pit stopped for a 3am Angelo's Coney Island, and got home safely! PHEW!!


With the tastings wrapped up, replies in, fittings just about done, bachelor party over with, we could concentrate on the coming holidays!!! ...or so we thought.


About a week and a half before the wedding, we got our wedding bands in the mail. We got them from friends of mine because they were jewelers, and could get us a really amazing deal on them...they helped with the engagement ring, too! When we opened the package, we just stared at the rings. We looked at each other. We didn't know what to do. They were the WRONG COLOR!!!!!! My engagement ring was yellow gold, these were a silver color...i am not sure which kind of silver it was, but regardless, THEY WERE NOT THE RIGHT COLOR. omgomgomgomgomg. omg. What were we going to do. I calmly called my friends, and told them what was going on. They said they would send the right ones right away, so we sent the wrong rings back to them....crisis averted!!!


Then, 1 week before the wedding, I was on my way home from work (which was down in Auburn Hills), I was stopped at a light that was red. I was going to turn right onto the highway entrance ramp, when someone decided to rear-end my car...GREAT...seriously??? What was next


Why do always ask, "what's next?!?!?" It is never good to ask this of the universe...being only 11 or so weeks pregnant, when one starts to spot blood, it is never a good thing...so we were really worried...I called my OB, and she scheduled an ultra sound. When did she schedule it for?????? The day before the wedding...wow...ok... It freaked me out because I did NOT want to know if there was a problem with the baby the day before the wedding...but if there wasn't anything wrong, then things would be even better...we were so worried.


The holiday was nice and relaxing. Jack and I spent it at my parents house. It was nice to get away from all of the wedding plans. The wedding wasn't mentioned too much until the end of the day, when mom, Catherine, and I applied trial and error wedding makeup!!! That was fun! My mom hadn't had that much makeup on in 20 years!!!


The next day, Jack worked...and I ran about 14 kajillion errands. We made lists, and lists for the lists, crossed off those lists, and made more lists...organization was the name of the game for me! I got a pedi and mani...that was just what I needed!!! The next day started the wedding festivities...but first that ultra sound.

Wow, We Were PREGNANT!!

I remember thinking that I couldn't sit down the same way anymore or get into the car the same way anymore, or do ANYTHING the same way anymore...it was amusing to realize that I sat down more carefully, and I didn't flop myself into the car the way I did the day before I found out I was with child!! I thought I had to be soooo careful!!! I was afraid of "dislodging" my unborn...I soon came to realize that things were going to not be as different as I thought. I could still sit normally and drive normally, etc.


I made a phone call to my OB-GYN's office to tell them that I just took a pregnancy test and that it was positive! The receptionist answered the phone, and I told her who I was. I mentioned that I was pregnant, and that I needed an appointment. She asked me when my last period began, and I told her. She told me that she would schedule an appointment for December 8th...WHAT?????????????? What did she mean, December 8th???? That was more than a month away!!! It was November 5th!!! Little did I know that they don't do your first pre-natal exam until you are about 8 weeks (or so) along...that did not seem fair to me!!


The next few weeks were super interesting and stressful!! I was going to the seamstress for wedding dress fittings. We were starting the house-hunting process. We were keeping our pregnancy a secret....from everyone!! We had decided to not tell our families until Thanksgiving.


Thanksgiving dinner was upon us. Jack's dad, his wife, my parents, and sister were all present. My mom had prepared yet another phenomenal Thanksgiving meal. We were all just about finished with our meals when Jack took my hand under the table. He started to talk about how thankful we both were for all of our parental support with the wedding preparations, and wonderful and helpful they were. He continued with how we hoped that in eight or so months, we could be just as thankful for our new baby!!


The reactions are as follows:
My mom, Karen: jaw dropped, tears, hand and napkin to face.
My sister, Catherine: jaw dropped, tears, big smiles.
My mother-in-law, Cassie: confusion, tears, smiles.
My father-in-law, Joe: smiles, tears (but don't tell anyone), hands in the air in a cheering motion.
My dad, John...........: pursed lips, frown, kind of pissed look on his face.


These were extremely predictable reactions. My mom knew what our plans were about trying to get pregnant. She knew that we wanted to have a baby during the next summer, which meant we had to plan for the beginning of the pregnancy before the wedding. I think she was excited for us. My in-laws...well, I am not sure they knew our plans, but Jack and I had talked about how they would take the surprising news. Jack called his dad's reaction perfectly...he totally said that his dad would do the fist pumps in the air!! I thought that was so funny! We knew that it would take a couple of seconds for the news to sink for Cassie, but that she would also be happy to know that she was going to be an official grandma for the first time!! I knew my sister would be happy and supportive, and would probably have a tear. Then there was my dad...yikes!!! He was NOT happy. He was to the point of angry. I think he was embarrassed that we would get pregnant before our wedding. I think he thought it was inappropriate. I also think that he thought his deacon reputation would be tarnished...all of this I could appreciate and understand. I also know, as I write this three years later, that he wouldn't change things for the world. He told me two days ago (which, just happened to be November 5th, 2010...three years after we found out we were pregnant), that if he knew that "this," pointing to Riley, was going to be the result, he would have never reacted that way...he is a very proud grandpa!!


This was only the beginning of telling people that we were pregnant. We decided (for the most part) not to tell anyone else that we were pregnant until after the wedding. I really wanted to be able to enjoy our wedding without all of the hoopla of baby talk.

Wondering if I am Doing Something Wrong?

After an unsuccessful attempt at getting pregnant, I asked my mom (a nurse) to help me find an OB. She got back to me and suggested one. I said cool, I will make an appointment to make sure everything is in working order. Then I wondered how she found this doctor, so I asked. She said, "I got her name out of the Yellow Pages!" ...great.

So, I made an appointment. She asked me questions, did her assessment, and told me everything was fine from her point of view. I showed her my temperature chart, and confirmed with her that it was accurate; that ovulation was probably occurring as the chart said. She said that it probably was. COOL!!! I was in a much better mood after talking to her! She was very caring and nice!

Here we were, the beginning of November...Monday the 5th, to be exact. Jack was at work, and I was at home watching Discovery Health Channel. On the TV, was a show called Pregnancy For Dummies. PERFECT!!! Exactly what I needed!! I watched and watched...It went through all kinds of stages of ovulation, pregnancy, delivery, and beyond. During a commercial break, I decided to go take a pregnancy test (which I was told not to take them anymore...Jack said that I was jinxing us by peeing on a stick too much)!! Not that I condone hiding things from your spouse, but I could just throw that one in the dumpster, right?!?! So, I peed on a stick for the 90-ka-jillionth time in 2 months....this was becoming an expensive addiction!!

I figured I would have to wait the 2 or 3 minutes, like usual, but as soon as I looked at the enclosed plastic part, it was already turning pink...which meant it was a POSITIVE pregnancy test!!!! omgomgomgomgomgomgomg!!!!!!!!! WHAT??!!!??!?!!? What was I going to do now??? I told Jack that I wouldn't pee on any more sticks, and I did, and it was POSITIVE!!! I guess I would just have to fess up. I gathered my thoughts and called him. He answered. I don't remember exactly what he was saying to me, but whatever it was happened to be a perfect segue into me saying, "you are going to be a daddy!!" He was blown away...couldn't gather his thoughts! He was so excited!! I couldn't wait for the end of his work day!! I needed a hug!!!

Things ALWAYS Work Out As Planned, Right??

**THIS IS PROBABLY TOO MUCH INFORMATION/GRAPHIC FOR SOME**

So, in September of 2007 we decided it was time to make a baby. (Even though I am Catholic, and my parents would probably/definitely not approve, it was the right timing for us...we knew what we wanted for our lives/family). This would give us a baby in June. PERFECT!!! That is exactly the right time! We would be married, I would be out of school for the summer, and hopefully by then, we would be in a house. We were still living in a one-bedroom apartment. It was a cute little apartment, but only big enough for Jack and I...and not one person more!!

One Monday in early October, my mom and I were out shopping for her mother-of-the-bride dress. We went from Flint, halfway down to Detroit, back up to Troy, and finally all the way up to Frankenmuth!! We finally found the perfect dress at a cute little boutique in the cute little German city!!! The significance of this day, besides getting mom's fabulous dress, is that "aunt flo" visited that day....WHAT????? This wasn't supposed to happen?!?! We should have made a baby. I was so confused. When I decide to do something, I am usually successful....well, not this time.

Jack and I were both pretty disappointed. It felt like there were constant reminders of our failure...I had started the nursing program, and was doing a lot of learning in Hurley Medical Center's School of Nursing building...down in the lower level are about 9 or so pictures of the months of gestation, and how the baby grows inside the mom...seeing those all the time was so sad...i just wanted to be pregnant. My wonderful cousin, Keri, had just had little Lincoln!! How cool, but just another reminder that I didn't get pregnant. And, my BFF, Lindsay was 3 months pregnant with her first baby. Now, I am not stupid. I know that people try for months and years with no successful pregnancies, and that is devastating. I can't imagine how horrible that is. This was just the first month. There was still October. Knowing that we didn't want to have a baby during the school year, we had a window, and the window was getting smaller with each unsuccessful try.

October was here, October went....the last week in October, I was laying in bed, and told Jack that I felt period cramps. Crying, I told him that I didn't know why we weren't better at this. The thermometer was telling us when I was ovulating. I was so sad...Jack told me it would be ok, and not to worry too much.

Wedding Shower!!

My sister and bridesmaids gave me a beautiful wedding shower. It was held at Brickstreet Bar and Grill right by the apartment Jack and I lived at. It seems as though every one of my friends and family attended!! We received more gifts to start our lives together than anyone could ever ask for! It was held on a beautiful September day. My sister got the cake from a fabulous little bakery in Lake Orion (I think).

This Is Where It Gets A Little....

So, because I am Catholic, Jack and I were required to attend marriage preparation classes. Going into this situation we thought we were going to D.I.E.!!! We did NOT want to go to them. We eventually got used to the idea, and started becoming a little more open minded about them.



We went to our first classes at St. Robert's in Flushing. There were many speakers over the weekend. There were many subjects that were covered. The two subjects that stuck out in our minds the most were the communication topics and the family planning topics... ewwww.



We enjoyed learning about how to communicate successfully because we both know too many couples who's relationships suffer because they are not good at talking without getting mad or sassy or pissy or whatever with each other while in a fight/argument. One of the things I remember them talking about involved taking time to listen to and hear what the other has to say. It helps to repeat back in different words to the other person to demonstrate that you hear what they are saying. Staying civil and low-toned helps get each other's points across. I would put money on the fact that we are a better couple because we took this class.

WARNING! MAY BE TOO MUCH INFORMATION FOR SOME PEOPLE!!!!

As far as the family planning class went, we learned tons about what direction we wanted our lives to take. We learned that there are different methods of birth control, if you will, that the Catholic church agrees with. One of the ways is the thermometer method. The thermometer method involves buying a basal thermometer and taking my temperature every single morning before I get out of bed. Simple. The other part to this method involves tracking the temperature on a chart. There are a certain number of days in a month that a woman can conceive a baby. My temperature will tell me what those days are, and what days are days that one can do things that would make a baby!!



We chose this method because we decided that we wanted a baby. We were both getting older. We both decided that we wanted to try and conceive a baby that could be born during the summer (or, at least, NOT during the school year). So, while all wedding plans were coming along smoothly, we decided in June that we would start tracking my temperature/ovulation, and start trying to make a baby in September...and OF COURSE, plans always work out the way they should, right???

Picking The Right Attire!

Around my birthday in '07, my bff, Lindsay, and her hubby, Ira, came up to Michigan from the Atlanta area for a visit. They had lived down there for a couple of years, and didn't get up to Michigan that often. While they were here, I stole Lindsay, Sandy, and my sister Catherine to go to David's Bridal to look at bridesmaids dresses.





I had chosen cocktail-like dresses for a couple of reasons. One: If at all possible, I wanted my bridesmaids to be able to wear them again...some dresses are so hideous that you want to burn it the minute you take it off!! Two: If I would have gone with full length dresses, they would have been all salty and nasty...winter can be a bitch in the mitten state!! I went with black, too. Some people had strong opinions about these choices, but I ignored them...they can do whatever they want at their weddings, why can't I do what I want at mine, right??!! This is the dress I went with, again, it is black, not pink!!





http://www.davidsbridal.com/Product_Tea-Length-Dress-with-Grosgrain-Ribbon-and-Bow-8585_Bridal-Party-Bridesmaids-All-Bridesmaid-Dresses

The guys were a lot easier to figure out...sort of!! Jack and I went to Men's Warehouse and looked at the different styles and combinations of vests and ties and paisley or stripes and slacks and jackets and shoes and shirts...OMG! Who knew there were all these things to choose from. Ultimately, I feel like we chose a good combo. It was good to have all of that taken care of!!

The Wedding Party!

Picking the few most important people in your life to be a part of one of the most important days of your life is not easy. It's not like you don't know who you want to be a part of such a wonderful moment, it is that you have to narrow down the list...well, at least we had to...also, you have to figure out who you want to suffer through the wedding planning process with you (who is willing to take on the annoying tasks, the financial hardships, and spend the time doing pre-wedding/wedding things)!!!


Jack chose his brother,Lincoln, his three best buddies, Al, Dave, and Lowell, and his brother-in-law, Rod. There were at least 2 or 3 other people he would have chosen had we not had to filter down the choices.


I chose my sister Catherine, my BFF, Lindsay, my cousin, Andrea, my former roomie and great friend, Sandy, and my great friend from Bama, Sarah.


It can be such a pain in the ass for the attendants to be in a wedding, but it really does mean a lot to the bride and groom. We were so grateful to the people that accepted the invitation to be a part of our day!

Jack and I also asked my Aunt Mary Jo, my Uncle Greg, and Jack's niece, Krystal to do some readings during the ceremony. Again, it meant so much to us that they were willing to show their love and generosity to us by doing us such a great favor!

Time To Find The Dress!!!

Since we had decided on a date (December 28, 2007), and we had booked the reception site (Genesys Conference & Banquet Center), and the church (St. John Vianney Catholic Church) was all set to go...what was NEXT, you ask?!?!? THE DRESS!!!



My mom, sister, mom's friend, Mary, and I went to Becker's Bridal. It was told to my mom, if you can't find a dress at Becker's Bridal, you won't find one anywhere...ummmm...that made me super nervous considering this was the first stop we were making. What if we didn't find my dress here, THEN WHAT???





So, off we traveled to Fowler, Michigan. Because I am nowhere near a size 6, it was a little stressful going to find a wedding dress. I wanted something with sleeves, as to not show my flab...not too easy to find!! I also wanted it to be simple. No fuss, no muss. My mom and Mary kept trying to get me to try on dresses with lace all over them...no thanks.





I tried on several dresses, but it was the either the second or third dress I tried on that became 'the one'!! It was sleeveless, with beading at the top. It was off white with a cafe colored strip at the very top and on the bottom. It had simple beading down the back from the waste to the floor that was shaped like little snow flakes...hmmm...see a theme? Winter, snowflakes, Christmas time!!! Things were looking up!


My mom bought my wedding dress, veil, and extra material that day. The extra material was for a shawl or something of the sort, to cover my flubbery arms!! ;)


The day wasn't over! We had a lovely lunch together. We then traveled all the way from Fowler to Troy where we went to Somerset Mall to look at one of their bridal boutiques...let's just say...things were A LOT more expensive there!!!


It was a long (and expensive ~ for my mom) day, but we got a ton accomplished!!! ...We had a date, a church, a reception site, a dress...what's next???? WHO WOULD BE IN OUR WEDDING??!!?!?!?


http://www.beckersbridal.com/site/Home.html

And the wedding planning had begun!!!! ~The Reception Site

After we were officially engaged, my mom and I realized very quickly that we had a lot to do. My mom and I were on the phone one day, and I told her that from here on out until the wedding, there would not be one single phone call/conversation that would not involve a wedding plan! With Jack pushed to the way-side, my mom and I started planning!! ;)


When discussing the date, there were some issues. Neither Jack nor I wanted a long engagement...but we weren't sure we could get a date during the summer. We knew we wanted to get married, but not during the school year...that left May, June, July, and August, and we were already at the end of January...eek...the answer to those dates came quickly when we started looking at reception sites...the event planners were like, really???? You want to book a date WHEN??? Uh, no...people book two and three years in advance...Well, okee dokee...we started looking at dates after the fall semester/Christmas time. There were a couple of dates available at a few sites, so we started pounding the pavement (or the slush...man was the weather bad that day)!


The first place we went was ok. It is owned by my mom's friend. We went to visit, and the people were very friendly and accommodating. There was slight lack of class to the joint, though...the other thing is, it smelled. It smelled of industrial cleaning supplies. It is lovely that the place is clean, but for the love of all things good...the smell was enough to roll the dead over in their graves!


The weather was increasingly getting worse, but we trudged along anyway. We had 3 more appointments to make that day.


The second place was a hall not too far from the church where we would be married. It, too, was ok...one problem with this place is it was scary looking. Another problem is that we had to do all of our own cooking or hire a caterer. UMMM, NOOOO. Not a chance!!


Once again, the roads were getting pretty yucky, but we were PLANNING A WEDDING!! NOTHING WAS STOPPING US!!


The third place was a country club/golf club. The floor plan was completely choppy. There was no way we could fit all of our guests into this choppy crazy floor plan. Another thing about this place is there would still be other members of the club allowed in the area where the reception would be held. The worst thing is that the cake and gifts would have to be placed in the main foyer/entrance area where people (who aren't with the wedding) could totally walk off with the gifts/card box...seriously??? This is where all brides put their gifts and cake??? CRAZINESS...


The last place we went was good stuff. It was near our apartment! I liked the rooms they had to offer. The people were nice. There were no funny smells. They had catering on site. This could be it. My sister met my mom and I at Genesys Banquet and Conference Center after spinning out on the highway. She was very shaken up because after she spun out, a semi-truck was heading straight toward her! She called work and told them she wasn't going to drive all the way down to Auburn Hills in this weather. When she arrived at the hall, she was shaken, but happy to be a part of the planning! She approved of the place, as did my mom! It was definitely more pricey than the other places, but it included more stuff. Mom was willing to help out with the costs...A LOT!!



My parents, Jack, and I were able to go to a tasting of the food that we chose. It was good! There are so many receptions that have gross or nasty or bland food...I definitely wanted the opposite. Ultimately, I think we achieved that!!


http://www.facebook.com/pages/Grand-Blanc-MI/Genesys-Conference-Banquet-Center/128873303791513#!/photo.php?pid=354847&id=128873303791513

Because I am new to this blogging thing, I am not sure how to put links in the blog. I think the link above should take you to an example of a table set up at Genesys Conference & Banquet Center, where we chose to have our reception!

January 2007 ~ The Engagement!

So...the engagement ring was being sent to my parents' house, so that it would be safe. It was supposed to be delivered on Wednesday, January 17, and I was sooo excited!! There was a bridal show that weekend before...and since I was alllmmmooostttt engaged, my mom and I were like, eh, why not!!! So, we went! What an overwhelming experience!!! There were so many things to consider when planning a wedding. Wedding people can be so pushy and obnoxious! My mom, sister, and I left there exhausted, excited, and stressed!!!

On that Tuesday, I had to work. After a long day at work, Jack and I met at Mike's Tavern for a drink. There were only a few people in there...one of the regular bartender's, a few regulars, sports on the television, the crack machine, the smoke, and the smell of stale beer from the taps.

As we were sitting there Jack was getting antsy...Jack doesn't get antsy, he is about as laid back as they get. I asked him what his deal was, and he blew it off. A few minutes later, it dawned on me...I said, "if you are planning on proposing to me in Mike's B.A.R. you had better not." I was thinking that maybe he was going to drop on a knee and ask me to marry him in a bar. There is a Sex and The City episode where Charlotte gets engaged, and has a horrible engagement story. I was NOT going to let that be my fate. I was NOT going to get engaged in a BAR!! He told me that he would not do that!

A while later we went back to my apartment. He was staying at my place that night because we had a meeting the next morning. When we got back to my apartment, I started to get ready for bed. I was in the bathroom washing my face when Jack called in there and asked what I was doing. I was annoyed...what does he THINK I am doing! I hollered back at him, and told him I was washing my face, and he didn't respond. I walked out of the bathroom, with soap all over my face, water dripping down my shirt, and there he was. He was down on one knee in my bedroom holding out the ring. The ring came early, and my dad had called Jack to let him know! Apparently, Jack went over to get the ring earlier that day!

Jack was proposing! I looked like crap, had soap everywhere, hair was a mess...He said, "Ellen Sundwick, I love you with all of my heart. Would you do me the honor of being my wife?" I couldn't believe it!!! Of course I said yes!!! I sure was glad I told him not to propose at Mike's Tavern!!! There is something to be said for intuition!!!

The picture was taken by my sister. When I called and told her I was engaged, she didn't want to wake my parents up because it was pretty late. So, she wrote on the bathroom mirror with soap, so they would see it as soon as they got up in the morning!! =))

So, there you have it! We were engaged!! January 16, 2007. Things were on the right track, and we both felt so good about our decision to move forward together!

Winter 2006-2007 ~ MORE serious conversations, Trials, and The Plunge!

With all of the serious conversations going on between Jack and I, I wasn't sure if they were going to lead anywhere. It was confusing, maybe for both of us. We talked about if we had kids, what would we do about religion...Jack's point of view on religion is that he really doesn't like it very much; whereas, I grew up Roman Catholic. I went to a Catholic school from pre-k until 6th grade, went to CCD, etc.. I knew I was walking a tight rope talking about having kids, but I knew the next step for us (if kids were in our future) was to talk about how we would raise them, and what our priorities would be with that. I, obviously, wanted them to be raised Catholic, which interestingly enough, he didn't seem to mind that.

Over my Christmas break we decided to 'try out' living together...it wasn't like we didn't live 2 minutes away from each other, but we wanted to see if we could stand each other for more than 2 days in a row. So, I 'moved in' with Jack for a week or so...it was nice, and worked out well (plus, he had laundry in his apartment, mine was in the basement! Bonus!!)!!

Another thing that happened over Christmas break was I helped my cousin, Mary Jo, bar tend her annual Christmas party. She asked where Jack was, and I told her that he was working. She asked how things were going between us, and I told her that things were ok...I told her that we had recently broken up, and had just gotten back together...that we were trying to work things out...she perked right up and said, "you guys broke up???? That means you will be engaged in the next 3 months!!!!" I was like, "yeah right, whatever." Little did she know, we were working really hard to make this work.

Jack and I started talking more seriously about life and the next step, which was engagement. I told him that before he goes out and buys a ring, I could get us a deal through my BGBFs (Best Gay Boy Friends) in Florida! So, I contacted them, and told them what the deal was. That we were kind of in the market for a ring, and that I had picked one out that I wanted!

We took the plunge and bought the ring. We would have it delivered to my parents house so that it wouldn't sit in one of our apartment hallways...

Fall 2006 ~ Rough waters & Serious discussions...

The fall of 2006 was a pretty busy time for me. I was in my best friend, Lindsay's wedding in Savannah, Georgia. I had also just started my first semester at the University of Michigan - Flint. I was on my way to being a nurse...I just needed to get accepted into the program, yikes!! Jack and I continued to date. Those were the more care-free times when we could meet for a drink or dinner without the concerns of money or baby-sitters! We would often meet at Kickers and get their wings on Monday nights...mmm, were they good...cheap beer, too! For Sweetest Day, he bought me a bracelet...it was beautiful!! Things seemed to be going pretty well for us, and we were approaching our one year (from the day we had our first date) anniversary in November.

The week before our anniversary, Jack and I got into a discussion about children. He was adamant about not wanting children, and I was extremely adamant about having children. He was over at my apartment, and I was making us dinner during this discussion, and at one point I looked at him and said, "I am going to have children with or without you." Probably not the most sensitive way to go about making my point...but for as long as I could remember, I couldn't wait to be pregnant and have a kid...children were just not in the cards for Jack.

That Wednesday, Jack took me up north to spend some time with Joe and Cassie (his dad and step mom) before Thanksgiving. We were spending Thanksgiving dinner with my family. We had a nice time at each! That next Monday, which was our one year anniversary, he called and said he wanted to come over and talk to me. I was like, cool!!

He came over (empty handed, I might add...hmmm...why doesn't he have anything for me on our anniversary??), and said we needed to talk. I had no idea what he wanted to talk about. He sat down and started to tell me how serious he was about not wanting children. He was more than 100% sure that kids were not in his future. He was already 38 years old; he didn't want to be 100 years old when his kids graduated from high school. I felt completely blown away. He was breaking up with me. Not only was he breaking up with me, he was breaking up with me on our anniversary!!! Why did he take me up north just days before? Why did he wait until this day to break up with me? What did I do wrong? I couldn't believe it. We talked about the different scenarios in which we could work things out, but they all lead to me wanting kids and Jack not. We cried and he left.

A couple of days later, I returned some things that he had gotten me that I didn't want around anymore, including the bracelet he had gotten me for Sweetest Day. I put the things in a bag, went to his apartment, knocked on the door. He wasn't home, which I sort of already knew because the black beast (his truck) wasn't in the parking lot. So, I hung the bag on the door and left forever...

According to Jack, he talked with his buddies Al and Dave. They were at Tee-Bonez having drinks at the bar. Jack told them that he broke up with me because he didn't want kids, and (apparently) they said that he should have kids...kids are great.

He called me a while after he found the bag hanging on the door, and asked me to come over and get the bracelet; that it was mine, and he wanted me to have it. Plus, he wanted to talk to me...I went over to his apartment, and we talked things out, and we got back together, tentatively. We were both on edge about it because he still wasn't 100% sure about having kids.

The next several weeks were filled with intense conversations about future possibilities. Children, religion, what-ifs, marriage, houses, finances, etc.

Summer of 2006 ~ Dating & Traveling!

The summer of 2006 was a great one. I went up north to where Jack's dad and step mom live. It was very nerve wracking. He was already up there, and I drove up by myself. SCARY!!! They live on a lovely lake in a small town where they pride themselves on their super-fun Fourth of July festival, called, The Biggest Little Fourth In The North.

The first time I went up was in May, though. We went to the bar, to the Eagles, to the hunting property, and out on the boat...you kind of have to make your fun when there are no malls or whatever!! It is verrry relaxing to be near the water and the forest.

The first time Jack met any of my family, except Catherine, was at a birthday party at the end of May. He met my dad's side of the family, along with my mom and dad. Things went well!

We also spent time taking drives, going to Eichelberg's farm to get the best fresh corn on the cob, cooking out...I also went to his Uncle Ray's and Aunt Dodi's 50th wedding anniversary party that June...I had to meet the entire Miller family...that.was.scary!!! We spent that summer just hanging out and making memories!

A little of our history...

Before Jack and I met, we had both lived out of state for a several years. He lived in Las Vegas, and I lived in Huntsville, Alabama. We both moved into the same apartment complex that was right behind Mike's Tavern, where we met.

I had lived there for a little over 2 years, and he had lived there for a couple of months. So, we started seeing eachother. He made me dinner, I made him dinner. We had drinks. I met his friends, he met my friends.

I was a full time pre-nursing student at Mott Community College at the time. One of the reason's I moved back to Michigan was to go back to school, and become a nurse, so school was a big priority in my life. He was a retail logistics manager. Christmas came, and we exchanged gifts...he got me a watch and an alarm clock (and something else, I can't remember what it is, though)! I got him a crock pot, a Christmas candle, and some big serving spoons. He had already made plans for New Years Eve before we met, and I had company coming from Alabama anyway, so we didn't spend NYE together, which was a little disappointing.

By the middle of January, I was fed up with the antics of Jack, and decided to call off seeing eachother until further notice.

Further notice happened when I needed a ride to the airport during the first week in March '06. I was going on a trip to Los Angeles and onto Las Vegas to meet some friends (what an amazing trip that was)! ...but I didn't have a ride to the airport. Everyone I knew was working or busy...soooooooo...I called Jack...it just happened to be, that he was going to Vegas that same weekend, which made him free to drop me off. When he dropped me off, he told me that I owed him a drink after we both got back.

I don't remember how long it was before we met up again, maybe a few weeks, but I made good on owing him a drink.

One night, in April, he was out with his friends, and I was out with my friends. We met at Legends, another bar we liked to go to. He came up to me at the end of that evening and told me that he loved me. That was the beginning of that.

My first blog post ever!

My name is Ellen. My husband's name is Jack, and we have one daughter, Riley, who is 2 years old! This blog is dedicated to our story.

Our story begins the week before Thanksgiving in 2005. My sister, Catherine, and I were at our local tavern, Mike's after a long day at work. (We waited tables together at Macaroni Grill). We were sitting at the bar enjoying our cheap beer, and playing the TV screen video games ~ we like to refer to it as the CRACK MACHINE because it is addictive! While we were minding our own business, some dude comes up behind us and butts into our game....we were like, what the heck is this guy doing, and why doesn't he leave us alone?!?! He kept helping us with our games, then going to the other end of the bar to check out a game score or get another beer. I told my Catherine, if he keeps bugging us, he better start buying us some drinks!! Eventually, Catherine went to the bathroom, and the guy, Jack, started talking to me...then asked for my phone number....hmmmmm...ok...he seems kind of nice, eh, why not??? =) He puts my phone number in his phone, and we part ways.

...........days go by, and i wondered why he didn't call. It was Thanksgiving week, so maybe he was just busy...I can understand that. That next Friday night (day after Thanksgiving), Catherine and I were at Mike's Tavern again...after a long day at work, and the bartender said, "hey, remember that guy you were talking to last week?" and I said, "yes, Jack." She told me that he had lost my phone number or something, and wanted me to give the bartender my number so that the next time he came in, he could get it from her...I thought, "what a debacle...this is soooo not worth the trouble...but it DID explain why he hadn't called." So i gave her my number.

Sunday evening, while hanging with my friend, Sandy, HE CALLED! He wanted to meet at Mike's for a drink! I was pretty excited! So I changed my clothes and met him up there!

...and that my friends is how Jack and I met...we are that couple who met in a bar.