With all of the serious conversations going on between Jack and I, I wasn't sure if they were going to lead anywhere. It was confusing, maybe for both of us. We talked about if we had kids, what would we do about religion...Jack's point of view on religion is that he really doesn't like it very much; whereas, I grew up Roman Catholic. I went to a Catholic school from pre-k until 6th grade, went to CCD, etc.. I knew I was walking a tight rope talking about having kids, but I knew the next step for us (if kids were in our future) was to talk about how we would raise them, and what our priorities would be with that. I, obviously, wanted them to be raised Catholic, which interestingly enough, he didn't seem to mind that.
Over my Christmas break we decided to 'try out' living together...it wasn't like we didn't live 2 minutes away from each other, but we wanted to see if we could stand each other for more than 2 days in a row. So, I 'moved in' with Jack for a week or so...it was nice, and worked out well (plus, he had laundry in his apartment, mine was in the basement! Bonus!!)!!
Another thing that happened over Christmas break was I helped my cousin, Mary Jo, bar tend her annual Christmas party. She asked where Jack was, and I told her that he was working. She asked how things were going between us, and I told her that things were ok...I told her that we had recently broken up, and had just gotten back together...that we were trying to work things out...she perked right up and said, "you guys broke up???? That means you will be engaged in the next 3 months!!!!" I was like, "yeah right, whatever." Little did she know, we were working really hard to make this work.
Jack and I started talking more seriously about life and the next step, which was engagement. I told him that before he goes out and buys a ring, I could get us a deal through my BGBFs (Best Gay Boy Friends) in Florida! So, I contacted them, and told them what the deal was. That we were kind of in the market for a ring, and that I had picked one out that I wanted!
We took the plunge and bought the ring. We would have it delivered to my parents house so that it wouldn't sit in one of our apartment hallways...
Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Monday, June 28, 2010
Fall 2006 ~ Rough waters & Serious discussions...
The fall of 2006 was a pretty busy time for me. I was in my best friend, Lindsay's wedding in Savannah, Georgia. I had also just started my first semester at the University of Michigan - Flint. I was on my way to being a nurse...I just needed to get accepted into the program, yikes!! Jack and I continued to date. Those were the more care-free times when we could meet for a drink or dinner without the concerns of money or baby-sitters! We would often meet at Kickers and get their wings on Monday nights...mmm, were they good...cheap beer, too! For Sweetest Day, he bought me a bracelet...it was beautiful!! Things seemed to be going pretty well for us, and we were approaching our one year (from the day we had our first date) anniversary in November.
The week before our anniversary, Jack and I got into a discussion about children. He was adamant about not wanting children, and I was extremely adamant about having children. He was over at my apartment, and I was making us dinner during this discussion, and at one point I looked at him and said, "I am going to have children with or without you." Probably not the most sensitive way to go about making my point...but for as long as I could remember, I couldn't wait to be pregnant and have a kid...children were just not in the cards for Jack.
That Wednesday, Jack took me up north to spend some time with Joe and Cassie (his dad and step mom) before Thanksgiving. We were spending Thanksgiving dinner with my family. We had a nice time at each! That next Monday, which was our one year anniversary, he called and said he wanted to come over and talk to me. I was like, cool!!
He came over (empty handed, I might add...hmmm...why doesn't he have anything for me on our anniversary??), and said we needed to talk. I had no idea what he wanted to talk about. He sat down and started to tell me how serious he was about not wanting children. He was more than 100% sure that kids were not in his future. He was already 38 years old; he didn't want to be 100 years old when his kids graduated from high school. I felt completely blown away. He was breaking up with me. Not only was he breaking up with me, he was breaking up with me on our anniversary!!! Why did he take me up north just days before? Why did he wait until this day to break up with me? What did I do wrong? I couldn't believe it. We talked about the different scenarios in which we could work things out, but they all lead to me wanting kids and Jack not. We cried and he left.
A couple of days later, I returned some things that he had gotten me that I didn't want around anymore, including the bracelet he had gotten me for Sweetest Day. I put the things in a bag, went to his apartment, knocked on the door. He wasn't home, which I sort of already knew because the black beast (his truck) wasn't in the parking lot. So, I hung the bag on the door and left forever...
According to Jack, he talked with his buddies Al and Dave. They were at Tee-Bonez having drinks at the bar. Jack told them that he broke up with me because he didn't want kids, and (apparently) they said that he should have kids...kids are great.
He called me a while after he found the bag hanging on the door, and asked me to come over and get the bracelet; that it was mine, and he wanted me to have it. Plus, he wanted to talk to me...I went over to his apartment, and we talked things out, and we got back together, tentatively. We were both on edge about it because he still wasn't 100% sure about having kids.
The next several weeks were filled with intense conversations about future possibilities. Children, religion, what-ifs, marriage, houses, finances, etc.
The week before our anniversary, Jack and I got into a discussion about children. He was adamant about not wanting children, and I was extremely adamant about having children. He was over at my apartment, and I was making us dinner during this discussion, and at one point I looked at him and said, "I am going to have children with or without you." Probably not the most sensitive way to go about making my point...but for as long as I could remember, I couldn't wait to be pregnant and have a kid...children were just not in the cards for Jack.
That Wednesday, Jack took me up north to spend some time with Joe and Cassie (his dad and step mom) before Thanksgiving. We were spending Thanksgiving dinner with my family. We had a nice time at each! That next Monday, which was our one year anniversary, he called and said he wanted to come over and talk to me. I was like, cool!!
He came over (empty handed, I might add...hmmm...why doesn't he have anything for me on our anniversary??), and said we needed to talk. I had no idea what he wanted to talk about. He sat down and started to tell me how serious he was about not wanting children. He was more than 100% sure that kids were not in his future. He was already 38 years old; he didn't want to be 100 years old when his kids graduated from high school. I felt completely blown away. He was breaking up with me. Not only was he breaking up with me, he was breaking up with me on our anniversary!!! Why did he take me up north just days before? Why did he wait until this day to break up with me? What did I do wrong? I couldn't believe it. We talked about the different scenarios in which we could work things out, but they all lead to me wanting kids and Jack not. We cried and he left.
A couple of days later, I returned some things that he had gotten me that I didn't want around anymore, including the bracelet he had gotten me for Sweetest Day. I put the things in a bag, went to his apartment, knocked on the door. He wasn't home, which I sort of already knew because the black beast (his truck) wasn't in the parking lot. So, I hung the bag on the door and left forever...
According to Jack, he talked with his buddies Al and Dave. They were at Tee-Bonez having drinks at the bar. Jack told them that he broke up with me because he didn't want kids, and (apparently) they said that he should have kids...kids are great.
He called me a while after he found the bag hanging on the door, and asked me to come over and get the bracelet; that it was mine, and he wanted me to have it. Plus, he wanted to talk to me...I went over to his apartment, and we talked things out, and we got back together, tentatively. We were both on edge about it because he still wasn't 100% sure about having kids.
The next several weeks were filled with intense conversations about future possibilities. Children, religion, what-ifs, marriage, houses, finances, etc.
Summer of 2006 ~ Dating & Traveling!
The summer of 2006 was a great one. I went up north to where Jack's dad and step mom live. It was very nerve wracking. He was already up there, and I drove up by myself. SCARY!!! They live on a lovely lake in a small town where they pride themselves on their super-fun Fourth of July festival, called, The Biggest Little Fourth In The North.
The first time I went up was in May, though. We went to the bar, to the Eagles, to the hunting property, and out on the boat...you kind of have to make your fun when there are no malls or whatever!! It is verrry relaxing to be near the water and the forest.
The first time Jack met any of my family, except Catherine, was at a birthday party at the end of May. He met my dad's side of the family, along with my mom and dad. Things went well!
We also spent time taking drives, going to Eichelberg's farm to get the best fresh corn on the cob, cooking out...I also went to his Uncle Ray's and Aunt Dodi's 50th wedding anniversary party that June...I had to meet the entire Miller family...that.was.scary!!! We spent that summer just hanging out and making memories!
The first time I went up was in May, though. We went to the bar, to the Eagles, to the hunting property, and out on the boat...you kind of have to make your fun when there are no malls or whatever!! It is verrry relaxing to be near the water and the forest.
The first time Jack met any of my family, except Catherine, was at a birthday party at the end of May. He met my dad's side of the family, along with my mom and dad. Things went well!
We also spent time taking drives, going to Eichelberg's farm to get the best fresh corn on the cob, cooking out...I also went to his Uncle Ray's and Aunt Dodi's 50th wedding anniversary party that June...I had to meet the entire Miller family...that.was.scary!!! We spent that summer just hanging out and making memories!
A little of our history...
Before Jack and I met, we had both lived out of state for a several years. He lived in Las Vegas, and I lived in Huntsville, Alabama. We both moved into the same apartment complex that was right behind Mike's Tavern, where we met.
I had lived there for a little over 2 years, and he had lived there for a couple of months. So, we started seeing eachother. He made me dinner, I made him dinner. We had drinks. I met his friends, he met my friends.
I was a full time pre-nursing student at Mott Community College at the time. One of the reason's I moved back to Michigan was to go back to school, and become a nurse, so school was a big priority in my life. He was a retail logistics manager. Christmas came, and we exchanged gifts...he got me a watch and an alarm clock (and something else, I can't remember what it is, though)! I got him a crock pot, a Christmas candle, and some big serving spoons. He had already made plans for New Years Eve before we met, and I had company coming from Alabama anyway, so we didn't spend NYE together, which was a little disappointing.
By the middle of January, I was fed up with the antics of Jack, and decided to call off seeing eachother until further notice.
Further notice happened when I needed a ride to the airport during the first week in March '06. I was going on a trip to Los Angeles and onto Las Vegas to meet some friends (what an amazing trip that was)! ...but I didn't have a ride to the airport. Everyone I knew was working or busy...soooooooo...I called Jack...it just happened to be, that he was going to Vegas that same weekend, which made him free to drop me off. When he dropped me off, he told me that I owed him a drink after we both got back.
I don't remember how long it was before we met up again, maybe a few weeks, but I made good on owing him a drink.
One night, in April, he was out with his friends, and I was out with my friends. We met at Legends, another bar we liked to go to. He came up to me at the end of that evening and told me that he loved me. That was the beginning of that.
I had lived there for a little over 2 years, and he had lived there for a couple of months. So, we started seeing eachother. He made me dinner, I made him dinner. We had drinks. I met his friends, he met my friends.
I was a full time pre-nursing student at Mott Community College at the time. One of the reason's I moved back to Michigan was to go back to school, and become a nurse, so school was a big priority in my life. He was a retail logistics manager. Christmas came, and we exchanged gifts...he got me a watch and an alarm clock (and something else, I can't remember what it is, though)! I got him a crock pot, a Christmas candle, and some big serving spoons. He had already made plans for New Years Eve before we met, and I had company coming from Alabama anyway, so we didn't spend NYE together, which was a little disappointing.
By the middle of January, I was fed up with the antics of Jack, and decided to call off seeing eachother until further notice.
Further notice happened when I needed a ride to the airport during the first week in March '06. I was going on a trip to Los Angeles and onto Las Vegas to meet some friends (what an amazing trip that was)! ...but I didn't have a ride to the airport. Everyone I knew was working or busy...soooooooo...I called Jack...it just happened to be, that he was going to Vegas that same weekend, which made him free to drop me off. When he dropped me off, he told me that I owed him a drink after we both got back.
I don't remember how long it was before we met up again, maybe a few weeks, but I made good on owing him a drink.
One night, in April, he was out with his friends, and I was out with my friends. We met at Legends, another bar we liked to go to. He came up to me at the end of that evening and told me that he loved me. That was the beginning of that.
My first blog post ever!
My name is Ellen. My husband's name is Jack, and we have one daughter, Riley, who is 2 years old! This blog is dedicated to our story.
Our story begins the week before Thanksgiving in 2005. My sister, Catherine, and I were at our local tavern, Mike's after a long day at work. (We waited tables together at Macaroni Grill). We were sitting at the bar enjoying our cheap beer, and playing the TV screen video games ~ we like to refer to it as the CRACK MACHINE because it is addictive! While we were minding our own business, some dude comes up behind us and butts into our game....we were like, what the heck is this guy doing, and why doesn't he leave us alone?!?! He kept helping us with our games, then going to the other end of the bar to check out a game score or get another beer. I told my Catherine, if he keeps bugging us, he better start buying us some drinks!! Eventually, Catherine went to the bathroom, and the guy, Jack, started talking to me...then asked for my phone number....hmmmmm...ok...he seems kind of nice, eh, why not??? =) He puts my phone number in his phone, and we part ways.
...........days go by, and i wondered why he didn't call. It was Thanksgiving week, so maybe he was just busy...I can understand that. That next Friday night (day after Thanksgiving), Catherine and I were at Mike's Tavern again...after a long day at work, and the bartender said, "hey, remember that guy you were talking to last week?" and I said, "yes, Jack." She told me that he had lost my phone number or something, and wanted me to give the bartender my number so that the next time he came in, he could get it from her...I thought, "what a debacle...this is soooo not worth the trouble...but it DID explain why he hadn't called." So i gave her my number.
Sunday evening, while hanging with my friend, Sandy, HE CALLED! He wanted to meet at Mike's for a drink! I was pretty excited! So I changed my clothes and met him up there!
...and that my friends is how Jack and I met...we are that couple who met in a bar.
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