This Is Where It Gets A Little....

So, because I am Catholic, Jack and I were required to attend marriage preparation classes. Going into this situation we thought we were going to D.I.E.!!! We did NOT want to go to them. We eventually got used to the idea, and started becoming a little more open minded about them.



We went to our first classes at St. Robert's in Flushing. There were many speakers over the weekend. There were many subjects that were covered. The two subjects that stuck out in our minds the most were the communication topics and the family planning topics... ewwww.



We enjoyed learning about how to communicate successfully because we both know too many couples who's relationships suffer because they are not good at talking without getting mad or sassy or pissy or whatever with each other while in a fight/argument. One of the things I remember them talking about involved taking time to listen to and hear what the other has to say. It helps to repeat back in different words to the other person to demonstrate that you hear what they are saying. Staying civil and low-toned helps get each other's points across. I would put money on the fact that we are a better couple because we took this class.

WARNING! MAY BE TOO MUCH INFORMATION FOR SOME PEOPLE!!!!

As far as the family planning class went, we learned tons about what direction we wanted our lives to take. We learned that there are different methods of birth control, if you will, that the Catholic church agrees with. One of the ways is the thermometer method. The thermometer method involves buying a basal thermometer and taking my temperature every single morning before I get out of bed. Simple. The other part to this method involves tracking the temperature on a chart. There are a certain number of days in a month that a woman can conceive a baby. My temperature will tell me what those days are, and what days are days that one can do things that would make a baby!!



We chose this method because we decided that we wanted a baby. We were both getting older. We both decided that we wanted to try and conceive a baby that could be born during the summer (or, at least, NOT during the school year). So, while all wedding plans were coming along smoothly, we decided in June that we would start tracking my temperature/ovulation, and start trying to make a baby in September...and OF COURSE, plans always work out the way they should, right???

Picking The Right Attire!

Around my birthday in '07, my bff, Lindsay, and her hubby, Ira, came up to Michigan from the Atlanta area for a visit. They had lived down there for a couple of years, and didn't get up to Michigan that often. While they were here, I stole Lindsay, Sandy, and my sister Catherine to go to David's Bridal to look at bridesmaids dresses.





I had chosen cocktail-like dresses for a couple of reasons. One: If at all possible, I wanted my bridesmaids to be able to wear them again...some dresses are so hideous that you want to burn it the minute you take it off!! Two: If I would have gone with full length dresses, they would have been all salty and nasty...winter can be a bitch in the mitten state!! I went with black, too. Some people had strong opinions about these choices, but I ignored them...they can do whatever they want at their weddings, why can't I do what I want at mine, right??!! This is the dress I went with, again, it is black, not pink!!





http://www.davidsbridal.com/Product_Tea-Length-Dress-with-Grosgrain-Ribbon-and-Bow-8585_Bridal-Party-Bridesmaids-All-Bridesmaid-Dresses

The guys were a lot easier to figure out...sort of!! Jack and I went to Men's Warehouse and looked at the different styles and combinations of vests and ties and paisley or stripes and slacks and jackets and shoes and shirts...OMG! Who knew there were all these things to choose from. Ultimately, I feel like we chose a good combo. It was good to have all of that taken care of!!

The Wedding Party!

Picking the few most important people in your life to be a part of one of the most important days of your life is not easy. It's not like you don't know who you want to be a part of such a wonderful moment, it is that you have to narrow down the list...well, at least we had to...also, you have to figure out who you want to suffer through the wedding planning process with you (who is willing to take on the annoying tasks, the financial hardships, and spend the time doing pre-wedding/wedding things)!!!


Jack chose his brother,Lincoln, his three best buddies, Al, Dave, and Lowell, and his brother-in-law, Rod. There were at least 2 or 3 other people he would have chosen had we not had to filter down the choices.


I chose my sister Catherine, my BFF, Lindsay, my cousin, Andrea, my former roomie and great friend, Sandy, and my great friend from Bama, Sarah.


It can be such a pain in the ass for the attendants to be in a wedding, but it really does mean a lot to the bride and groom. We were so grateful to the people that accepted the invitation to be a part of our day!

Jack and I also asked my Aunt Mary Jo, my Uncle Greg, and Jack's niece, Krystal to do some readings during the ceremony. Again, it meant so much to us that they were willing to show their love and generosity to us by doing us such a great favor!

Time To Find The Dress!!!

Since we had decided on a date (December 28, 2007), and we had booked the reception site (Genesys Conference & Banquet Center), and the church (St. John Vianney Catholic Church) was all set to go...what was NEXT, you ask?!?!? THE DRESS!!!



My mom, sister, mom's friend, Mary, and I went to Becker's Bridal. It was told to my mom, if you can't find a dress at Becker's Bridal, you won't find one anywhere...ummmm...that made me super nervous considering this was the first stop we were making. What if we didn't find my dress here, THEN WHAT???





So, off we traveled to Fowler, Michigan. Because I am nowhere near a size 6, it was a little stressful going to find a wedding dress. I wanted something with sleeves, as to not show my flab...not too easy to find!! I also wanted it to be simple. No fuss, no muss. My mom and Mary kept trying to get me to try on dresses with lace all over them...no thanks.





I tried on several dresses, but it was the either the second or third dress I tried on that became 'the one'!! It was sleeveless, with beading at the top. It was off white with a cafe colored strip at the very top and on the bottom. It had simple beading down the back from the waste to the floor that was shaped like little snow flakes...hmmm...see a theme? Winter, snowflakes, Christmas time!!! Things were looking up!


My mom bought my wedding dress, veil, and extra material that day. The extra material was for a shawl or something of the sort, to cover my flubbery arms!! ;)


The day wasn't over! We had a lovely lunch together. We then traveled all the way from Fowler to Troy where we went to Somerset Mall to look at one of their bridal boutiques...let's just say...things were A LOT more expensive there!!!


It was a long (and expensive ~ for my mom) day, but we got a ton accomplished!!! ...We had a date, a church, a reception site, a dress...what's next???? WHO WOULD BE IN OUR WEDDING??!!?!?!?


http://www.beckersbridal.com/site/Home.html

And the wedding planning had begun!!!! ~The Reception Site

After we were officially engaged, my mom and I realized very quickly that we had a lot to do. My mom and I were on the phone one day, and I told her that from here on out until the wedding, there would not be one single phone call/conversation that would not involve a wedding plan! With Jack pushed to the way-side, my mom and I started planning!! ;)


When discussing the date, there were some issues. Neither Jack nor I wanted a long engagement...but we weren't sure we could get a date during the summer. We knew we wanted to get married, but not during the school year...that left May, June, July, and August, and we were already at the end of January...eek...the answer to those dates came quickly when we started looking at reception sites...the event planners were like, really???? You want to book a date WHEN??? Uh, no...people book two and three years in advance...Well, okee dokee...we started looking at dates after the fall semester/Christmas time. There were a couple of dates available at a few sites, so we started pounding the pavement (or the slush...man was the weather bad that day)!


The first place we went was ok. It is owned by my mom's friend. We went to visit, and the people were very friendly and accommodating. There was slight lack of class to the joint, though...the other thing is, it smelled. It smelled of industrial cleaning supplies. It is lovely that the place is clean, but for the love of all things good...the smell was enough to roll the dead over in their graves!


The weather was increasingly getting worse, but we trudged along anyway. We had 3 more appointments to make that day.


The second place was a hall not too far from the church where we would be married. It, too, was ok...one problem with this place is it was scary looking. Another problem is that we had to do all of our own cooking or hire a caterer. UMMM, NOOOO. Not a chance!!


Once again, the roads were getting pretty yucky, but we were PLANNING A WEDDING!! NOTHING WAS STOPPING US!!


The third place was a country club/golf club. The floor plan was completely choppy. There was no way we could fit all of our guests into this choppy crazy floor plan. Another thing about this place is there would still be other members of the club allowed in the area where the reception would be held. The worst thing is that the cake and gifts would have to be placed in the main foyer/entrance area where people (who aren't with the wedding) could totally walk off with the gifts/card box...seriously??? This is where all brides put their gifts and cake??? CRAZINESS...


The last place we went was good stuff. It was near our apartment! I liked the rooms they had to offer. The people were nice. There were no funny smells. They had catering on site. This could be it. My sister met my mom and I at Genesys Banquet and Conference Center after spinning out on the highway. She was very shaken up because after she spun out, a semi-truck was heading straight toward her! She called work and told them she wasn't going to drive all the way down to Auburn Hills in this weather. When she arrived at the hall, she was shaken, but happy to be a part of the planning! She approved of the place, as did my mom! It was definitely more pricey than the other places, but it included more stuff. Mom was willing to help out with the costs...A LOT!!



My parents, Jack, and I were able to go to a tasting of the food that we chose. It was good! There are so many receptions that have gross or nasty or bland food...I definitely wanted the opposite. Ultimately, I think we achieved that!!


http://www.facebook.com/pages/Grand-Blanc-MI/Genesys-Conference-Banquet-Center/128873303791513#!/photo.php?pid=354847&id=128873303791513

Because I am new to this blogging thing, I am not sure how to put links in the blog. I think the link above should take you to an example of a table set up at Genesys Conference & Banquet Center, where we chose to have our reception!

January 2007 ~ The Engagement!

So...the engagement ring was being sent to my parents' house, so that it would be safe. It was supposed to be delivered on Wednesday, January 17, and I was sooo excited!! There was a bridal show that weekend before...and since I was alllmmmooostttt engaged, my mom and I were like, eh, why not!!! So, we went! What an overwhelming experience!!! There were so many things to consider when planning a wedding. Wedding people can be so pushy and obnoxious! My mom, sister, and I left there exhausted, excited, and stressed!!!

On that Tuesday, I had to work. After a long day at work, Jack and I met at Mike's Tavern for a drink. There were only a few people in there...one of the regular bartender's, a few regulars, sports on the television, the crack machine, the smoke, and the smell of stale beer from the taps.

As we were sitting there Jack was getting antsy...Jack doesn't get antsy, he is about as laid back as they get. I asked him what his deal was, and he blew it off. A few minutes later, it dawned on me...I said, "if you are planning on proposing to me in Mike's B.A.R. you had better not." I was thinking that maybe he was going to drop on a knee and ask me to marry him in a bar. There is a Sex and The City episode where Charlotte gets engaged, and has a horrible engagement story. I was NOT going to let that be my fate. I was NOT going to get engaged in a BAR!! He told me that he would not do that!

A while later we went back to my apartment. He was staying at my place that night because we had a meeting the next morning. When we got back to my apartment, I started to get ready for bed. I was in the bathroom washing my face when Jack called in there and asked what I was doing. I was annoyed...what does he THINK I am doing! I hollered back at him, and told him I was washing my face, and he didn't respond. I walked out of the bathroom, with soap all over my face, water dripping down my shirt, and there he was. He was down on one knee in my bedroom holding out the ring. The ring came early, and my dad had called Jack to let him know! Apparently, Jack went over to get the ring earlier that day!

Jack was proposing! I looked like crap, had soap everywhere, hair was a mess...He said, "Ellen Sundwick, I love you with all of my heart. Would you do me the honor of being my wife?" I couldn't believe it!!! Of course I said yes!!! I sure was glad I told him not to propose at Mike's Tavern!!! There is something to be said for intuition!!!

The picture was taken by my sister. When I called and told her I was engaged, she didn't want to wake my parents up because it was pretty late. So, she wrote on the bathroom mirror with soap, so they would see it as soon as they got up in the morning!! =))

So, there you have it! We were engaged!! January 16, 2007. Things were on the right track, and we both felt so good about our decision to move forward together!

Winter 2006-2007 ~ MORE serious conversations, Trials, and The Plunge!

With all of the serious conversations going on between Jack and I, I wasn't sure if they were going to lead anywhere. It was confusing, maybe for both of us. We talked about if we had kids, what would we do about religion...Jack's point of view on religion is that he really doesn't like it very much; whereas, I grew up Roman Catholic. I went to a Catholic school from pre-k until 6th grade, went to CCD, etc.. I knew I was walking a tight rope talking about having kids, but I knew the next step for us (if kids were in our future) was to talk about how we would raise them, and what our priorities would be with that. I, obviously, wanted them to be raised Catholic, which interestingly enough, he didn't seem to mind that.

Over my Christmas break we decided to 'try out' living together...it wasn't like we didn't live 2 minutes away from each other, but we wanted to see if we could stand each other for more than 2 days in a row. So, I 'moved in' with Jack for a week or so...it was nice, and worked out well (plus, he had laundry in his apartment, mine was in the basement! Bonus!!)!!

Another thing that happened over Christmas break was I helped my cousin, Mary Jo, bar tend her annual Christmas party. She asked where Jack was, and I told her that he was working. She asked how things were going between us, and I told her that things were ok...I told her that we had recently broken up, and had just gotten back together...that we were trying to work things out...she perked right up and said, "you guys broke up???? That means you will be engaged in the next 3 months!!!!" I was like, "yeah right, whatever." Little did she know, we were working really hard to make this work.

Jack and I started talking more seriously about life and the next step, which was engagement. I told him that before he goes out and buys a ring, I could get us a deal through my BGBFs (Best Gay Boy Friends) in Florida! So, I contacted them, and told them what the deal was. That we were kind of in the market for a ring, and that I had picked one out that I wanted!

We took the plunge and bought the ring. We would have it delivered to my parents house so that it wouldn't sit in one of our apartment hallways...