The Countdown Was On!

The wedding was just about a month away!!!! I couldn't believe that time had gone by so quickly!! Jack had his bachelor party. I opted out of a bachelorette party...even long before I was pregnant. I just didn't want one. I am not into the whole, "let's go out with your girlfriends with penis straws, veils, and a bunch of liquor" thing...just not my cup of tea.


Jack's party was thrown by one of his best buddies, Al. Al planned a total guys night out for Jack and his friends. He even hired a friend to be the designated driver! What a smart guy!! The night arrived...and low and behold: THERE WAS A SNOW STORM...really???? Why did this have to be the night...designated driver or not...this scared the crap out of me. It isn't like they were going to go bar hopping locally...they were going to strip clubs and casinos over in Sarnia...CANADA...grrrreat. I kept thinking all evening long that all the wives and girlfriends of the men that were out that night were going to kill me for them going out...Thank the Lord above, they made it back to Flint, pit stopped for a 3am Angelo's Coney Island, and got home safely! PHEW!!


With the tastings wrapped up, replies in, fittings just about done, bachelor party over with, we could concentrate on the coming holidays!!! ...or so we thought.


About a week and a half before the wedding, we got our wedding bands in the mail. We got them from friends of mine because they were jewelers, and could get us a really amazing deal on them...they helped with the engagement ring, too! When we opened the package, we just stared at the rings. We looked at each other. We didn't know what to do. They were the WRONG COLOR!!!!!! My engagement ring was yellow gold, these were a silver color...i am not sure which kind of silver it was, but regardless, THEY WERE NOT THE RIGHT COLOR. omgomgomgomgomg. omg. What were we going to do. I calmly called my friends, and told them what was going on. They said they would send the right ones right away, so we sent the wrong rings back to them....crisis averted!!!


Then, 1 week before the wedding, I was on my way home from work (which was down in Auburn Hills), I was stopped at a light that was red. I was going to turn right onto the highway entrance ramp, when someone decided to rear-end my car...GREAT...seriously??? What was next


Why do always ask, "what's next?!?!?" It is never good to ask this of the universe...being only 11 or so weeks pregnant, when one starts to spot blood, it is never a good thing...so we were really worried...I called my OB, and she scheduled an ultra sound. When did she schedule it for?????? The day before the wedding...wow...ok... It freaked me out because I did NOT want to know if there was a problem with the baby the day before the wedding...but if there wasn't anything wrong, then things would be even better...we were so worried.


The holiday was nice and relaxing. Jack and I spent it at my parents house. It was nice to get away from all of the wedding plans. The wedding wasn't mentioned too much until the end of the day, when mom, Catherine, and I applied trial and error wedding makeup!!! That was fun! My mom hadn't had that much makeup on in 20 years!!!


The next day, Jack worked...and I ran about 14 kajillion errands. We made lists, and lists for the lists, crossed off those lists, and made more lists...organization was the name of the game for me! I got a pedi and mani...that was just what I needed!!! The next day started the wedding festivities...but first that ultra sound.

Wow, We Were PREGNANT!!

I remember thinking that I couldn't sit down the same way anymore or get into the car the same way anymore, or do ANYTHING the same way anymore...it was amusing to realize that I sat down more carefully, and I didn't flop myself into the car the way I did the day before I found out I was with child!! I thought I had to be soooo careful!!! I was afraid of "dislodging" my unborn...I soon came to realize that things were going to not be as different as I thought. I could still sit normally and drive normally, etc.


I made a phone call to my OB-GYN's office to tell them that I just took a pregnancy test and that it was positive! The receptionist answered the phone, and I told her who I was. I mentioned that I was pregnant, and that I needed an appointment. She asked me when my last period began, and I told her. She told me that she would schedule an appointment for December 8th...WHAT?????????????? What did she mean, December 8th???? That was more than a month away!!! It was November 5th!!! Little did I know that they don't do your first pre-natal exam until you are about 8 weeks (or so) along...that did not seem fair to me!!


The next few weeks were super interesting and stressful!! I was going to the seamstress for wedding dress fittings. We were starting the house-hunting process. We were keeping our pregnancy a secret....from everyone!! We had decided to not tell our families until Thanksgiving.


Thanksgiving dinner was upon us. Jack's dad, his wife, my parents, and sister were all present. My mom had prepared yet another phenomenal Thanksgiving meal. We were all just about finished with our meals when Jack took my hand under the table. He started to talk about how thankful we both were for all of our parental support with the wedding preparations, and wonderful and helpful they were. He continued with how we hoped that in eight or so months, we could be just as thankful for our new baby!!


The reactions are as follows:
My mom, Karen: jaw dropped, tears, hand and napkin to face.
My sister, Catherine: jaw dropped, tears, big smiles.
My mother-in-law, Cassie: confusion, tears, smiles.
My father-in-law, Joe: smiles, tears (but don't tell anyone), hands in the air in a cheering motion.
My dad, John...........: pursed lips, frown, kind of pissed look on his face.


These were extremely predictable reactions. My mom knew what our plans were about trying to get pregnant. She knew that we wanted to have a baby during the next summer, which meant we had to plan for the beginning of the pregnancy before the wedding. I think she was excited for us. My in-laws...well, I am not sure they knew our plans, but Jack and I had talked about how they would take the surprising news. Jack called his dad's reaction perfectly...he totally said that his dad would do the fist pumps in the air!! I thought that was so funny! We knew that it would take a couple of seconds for the news to sink for Cassie, but that she would also be happy to know that she was going to be an official grandma for the first time!! I knew my sister would be happy and supportive, and would probably have a tear. Then there was my dad...yikes!!! He was NOT happy. He was to the point of angry. I think he was embarrassed that we would get pregnant before our wedding. I think he thought it was inappropriate. I also think that he thought his deacon reputation would be tarnished...all of this I could appreciate and understand. I also know, as I write this three years later, that he wouldn't change things for the world. He told me two days ago (which, just happened to be November 5th, 2010...three years after we found out we were pregnant), that if he knew that "this," pointing to Riley, was going to be the result, he would have never reacted that way...he is a very proud grandpa!!


This was only the beginning of telling people that we were pregnant. We decided (for the most part) not to tell anyone else that we were pregnant until after the wedding. I really wanted to be able to enjoy our wedding without all of the hoopla of baby talk.

Wondering if I am Doing Something Wrong?

After an unsuccessful attempt at getting pregnant, I asked my mom (a nurse) to help me find an OB. She got back to me and suggested one. I said cool, I will make an appointment to make sure everything is in working order. Then I wondered how she found this doctor, so I asked. She said, "I got her name out of the Yellow Pages!" ...great.

So, I made an appointment. She asked me questions, did her assessment, and told me everything was fine from her point of view. I showed her my temperature chart, and confirmed with her that it was accurate; that ovulation was probably occurring as the chart said. She said that it probably was. COOL!!! I was in a much better mood after talking to her! She was very caring and nice!

Here we were, the beginning of November...Monday the 5th, to be exact. Jack was at work, and I was at home watching Discovery Health Channel. On the TV, was a show called Pregnancy For Dummies. PERFECT!!! Exactly what I needed!! I watched and watched...It went through all kinds of stages of ovulation, pregnancy, delivery, and beyond. During a commercial break, I decided to go take a pregnancy test (which I was told not to take them anymore...Jack said that I was jinxing us by peeing on a stick too much)!! Not that I condone hiding things from your spouse, but I could just throw that one in the dumpster, right?!?! So, I peed on a stick for the 90-ka-jillionth time in 2 months....this was becoming an expensive addiction!!

I figured I would have to wait the 2 or 3 minutes, like usual, but as soon as I looked at the enclosed plastic part, it was already turning pink...which meant it was a POSITIVE pregnancy test!!!! omgomgomgomgomgomgomg!!!!!!!!! WHAT??!!!??!?!!? What was I going to do now??? I told Jack that I wouldn't pee on any more sticks, and I did, and it was POSITIVE!!! I guess I would just have to fess up. I gathered my thoughts and called him. He answered. I don't remember exactly what he was saying to me, but whatever it was happened to be a perfect segue into me saying, "you are going to be a daddy!!" He was blown away...couldn't gather his thoughts! He was so excited!! I couldn't wait for the end of his work day!! I needed a hug!!!

Things ALWAYS Work Out As Planned, Right??

**THIS IS PROBABLY TOO MUCH INFORMATION/GRAPHIC FOR SOME**

So, in September of 2007 we decided it was time to make a baby. (Even though I am Catholic, and my parents would probably/definitely not approve, it was the right timing for us...we knew what we wanted for our lives/family). This would give us a baby in June. PERFECT!!! That is exactly the right time! We would be married, I would be out of school for the summer, and hopefully by then, we would be in a house. We were still living in a one-bedroom apartment. It was a cute little apartment, but only big enough for Jack and I...and not one person more!!

One Monday in early October, my mom and I were out shopping for her mother-of-the-bride dress. We went from Flint, halfway down to Detroit, back up to Troy, and finally all the way up to Frankenmuth!! We finally found the perfect dress at a cute little boutique in the cute little German city!!! The significance of this day, besides getting mom's fabulous dress, is that "aunt flo" visited that day....WHAT????? This wasn't supposed to happen?!?! We should have made a baby. I was so confused. When I decide to do something, I am usually successful....well, not this time.

Jack and I were both pretty disappointed. It felt like there were constant reminders of our failure...I had started the nursing program, and was doing a lot of learning in Hurley Medical Center's School of Nursing building...down in the lower level are about 9 or so pictures of the months of gestation, and how the baby grows inside the mom...seeing those all the time was so sad...i just wanted to be pregnant. My wonderful cousin, Keri, had just had little Lincoln!! How cool, but just another reminder that I didn't get pregnant. And, my BFF, Lindsay was 3 months pregnant with her first baby. Now, I am not stupid. I know that people try for months and years with no successful pregnancies, and that is devastating. I can't imagine how horrible that is. This was just the first month. There was still October. Knowing that we didn't want to have a baby during the school year, we had a window, and the window was getting smaller with each unsuccessful try.

October was here, October went....the last week in October, I was laying in bed, and told Jack that I felt period cramps. Crying, I told him that I didn't know why we weren't better at this. The thermometer was telling us when I was ovulating. I was so sad...Jack told me it would be ok, and not to worry too much.

Wedding Shower!!

My sister and bridesmaids gave me a beautiful wedding shower. It was held at Brickstreet Bar and Grill right by the apartment Jack and I lived at. It seems as though every one of my friends and family attended!! We received more gifts to start our lives together than anyone could ever ask for! It was held on a beautiful September day. My sister got the cake from a fabulous little bakery in Lake Orion (I think).

This Is Where It Gets A Little....

So, because I am Catholic, Jack and I were required to attend marriage preparation classes. Going into this situation we thought we were going to D.I.E.!!! We did NOT want to go to them. We eventually got used to the idea, and started becoming a little more open minded about them.



We went to our first classes at St. Robert's in Flushing. There were many speakers over the weekend. There were many subjects that were covered. The two subjects that stuck out in our minds the most were the communication topics and the family planning topics... ewwww.



We enjoyed learning about how to communicate successfully because we both know too many couples who's relationships suffer because they are not good at talking without getting mad or sassy or pissy or whatever with each other while in a fight/argument. One of the things I remember them talking about involved taking time to listen to and hear what the other has to say. It helps to repeat back in different words to the other person to demonstrate that you hear what they are saying. Staying civil and low-toned helps get each other's points across. I would put money on the fact that we are a better couple because we took this class.

WARNING! MAY BE TOO MUCH INFORMATION FOR SOME PEOPLE!!!!

As far as the family planning class went, we learned tons about what direction we wanted our lives to take. We learned that there are different methods of birth control, if you will, that the Catholic church agrees with. One of the ways is the thermometer method. The thermometer method involves buying a basal thermometer and taking my temperature every single morning before I get out of bed. Simple. The other part to this method involves tracking the temperature on a chart. There are a certain number of days in a month that a woman can conceive a baby. My temperature will tell me what those days are, and what days are days that one can do things that would make a baby!!



We chose this method because we decided that we wanted a baby. We were both getting older. We both decided that we wanted to try and conceive a baby that could be born during the summer (or, at least, NOT during the school year). So, while all wedding plans were coming along smoothly, we decided in June that we would start tracking my temperature/ovulation, and start trying to make a baby in September...and OF COURSE, plans always work out the way they should, right???

Picking The Right Attire!

Around my birthday in '07, my bff, Lindsay, and her hubby, Ira, came up to Michigan from the Atlanta area for a visit. They had lived down there for a couple of years, and didn't get up to Michigan that often. While they were here, I stole Lindsay, Sandy, and my sister Catherine to go to David's Bridal to look at bridesmaids dresses.





I had chosen cocktail-like dresses for a couple of reasons. One: If at all possible, I wanted my bridesmaids to be able to wear them again...some dresses are so hideous that you want to burn it the minute you take it off!! Two: If I would have gone with full length dresses, they would have been all salty and nasty...winter can be a bitch in the mitten state!! I went with black, too. Some people had strong opinions about these choices, but I ignored them...they can do whatever they want at their weddings, why can't I do what I want at mine, right??!! This is the dress I went with, again, it is black, not pink!!





http://www.davidsbridal.com/Product_Tea-Length-Dress-with-Grosgrain-Ribbon-and-Bow-8585_Bridal-Party-Bridesmaids-All-Bridesmaid-Dresses

The guys were a lot easier to figure out...sort of!! Jack and I went to Men's Warehouse and looked at the different styles and combinations of vests and ties and paisley or stripes and slacks and jackets and shoes and shirts...OMG! Who knew there were all these things to choose from. Ultimately, I feel like we chose a good combo. It was good to have all of that taken care of!!